


with memories to light your way

by fangirl_squee



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, What If Nice Things Happened For Once, background hella/adaire, very minor background samsam, written pre-WiH so probably not canon but i would be thrilled if it was
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 04:51:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16078802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_squee/pseuds/fangirl_squee
Summary: Lem and co break out of Swordtown to save Hieron from the heat and the dark, only to find out that Hieron has already been saved in their absence.





	with memories to light your way

**Author's Note:**

> thank you all for indulging me in this and especially thank you to maddie, for betaing and helping with bits and pieces as always

They emerged from the tear Samothes had made in the fabric between universes into the sunlight, which was nice, but also surprising. Lem half expected there to be something deeply unsettling around to counteract the rush of feeling that came with feeling the sun on his skin again, but the ocean beside Samol’s house was the same as when they had left it, the waves breaking on the shore.

 

“Huh,” said Hadrian, tipping his head back to squint at the glowing, warm sun above them before he looked behind him at Samothes.

 

Samothes wasn't looking up at the sun. Samothes was looking past them, towards Samol's house. Towards  _ Samol _ , Lem realised, although it took Lem a moment to recognise him. Even from a distance there was something different in his gait, in the way he was holding himself. He moved with purpose, waving at them from the shore as their boat docked.

 

“Well!” called Samol as they approached, “Wasn't expecting visitors, and certainly not you! But I suppose you'd better come in.”

 

Lem glanced at Hella, following her lead as she headed inside the house, Adaire and Adelaide beside her. Hadrian hesitated for a moment before following after them, glancing back over his shoulder after every few steps. Lem looked over his shoulder in time to see Samol reach Samothes. Samol said a few words to him, his voice too soft to be heard over the gentle waves, before he pulled Samothes in for a tight hug. Lem looked away quickly, speeding his steps towards the house. 

 

Samol’s house had been tidy before but it seemed fresher now in some way, like the whole thing had been given a new coat of paint. The windows were all open, curtains drawn back to let the new sunlight in, the scent of bread baking drifting on the warm ocean breeze. A familiar plant, freshly potted, sat in the middle of the table, its glossy leaves waving in the breeze from the window.

 

Lem frowned at the plant, shifting his feet. Adelaide peered up at the painting hanging above the mantle, a party scene of some kind, her expression unreadable. Lem glanced at Hella out of the corner of his eye, watching as she took Adaire's hand. He couldn't see Adaire's face, but the back of her neck flushed pink. Lem flexed his hands, sticking them in his pockets to avoid knocking anything over. Hadrian did a slow circuit of the dining table, sitting down at it briefly before hopping up again to resume pacing.

 

“So… the sun. It seems like a good sign?” offered Lem. 

 

Hadrian made a face. “Yeah, but it shouldn't be, right? I mean, we didn't  _ do  _ anything, yet.”

 

“Maybe somebody else did,” said Hella. “Maybe it fixed itself.”

 

“No,” said Adelaide, not looking away from the painting.

 

Adaire frowned at her. Lem saw her squeeze Hella’s hand, pulling Hella towards the window and a little further away from Adelaide. Some of the tension went out of Hella’s shoulders as they looked out into the garden.

 

“I suppose y’all need dinner before you head on your way,” said Samol by way of greeting as he entered.

 

“Yes?” said Hadrian, after a moment.

 

Samol gave him a short nod of approval. “You much good in the kitchen?”

 

“I… try to be?”

 

“That’ll do,” said Samol. “You and my son can help me finish off what I got cookin’.”

 

“I um. Okay?” said Hadrian.

 

Samothes smiled at Hadrian, gesturing for Hadrian to follow him. Samol went after them, shooting a quick “You lot try and stay out of trouble for the next little while,” over his shoulder.

 

Lem looked from Adelaide, still studying the painting (with a frown now), to Hella and Adaire, their heads bent together as they spoke quietly to each other. Adaire touched Hella’s arm lightly, and Hella bit her lip, a light blush coming over her cheeks. Lem cleared his throat, shifting his shoulders, feeling the violin shift against his back in turn.

 

“Right,” said Lem, “Right, well I’ll just… I’ll be out on the porch.”

 

“Okay,” said Hella, not looking away from Adaire.

 

The violin was in sore need of tuning anyway. Something about the slow, methodical practise of it always helped to soothe his mind, helped by the sound of the waves gently rolling on the beach. The waves reminded him in some strange way of the sound of wind through the trees in the forest that surrounded the New Archives, or the way the rain would sound from deep inside Fero’s cave home--

 

Lem quickly shuttered himself off from that train of thought. Things were confusing enough without thinking of him, of that. And anyway, he needed to focus on the task in front of him. Violins could be finicky, he couldn’t afford to break it because he was distracted by… by certain past events.

 

He stayed on the porch until Hadrian stuck his head out the door to tell him that dinner was ready. Hadrian seemed to have undergone a small change too, less strain around his eyes, smiling as he turned to go back inside. 

 

The meal was a peaceful one, soft clinking of cutlery as Samol told them about the new vegetable garden he was going to plot out.

 

“It’s good to see you working on something again,” said Samothes.

 

“Well, I got a little time to do it now,” said Samol.

 

Samothes smiled, radiating warmth.

 

Nobody mentioned the sun, setting now, the orange-streaked sun reflected in the ocean outside.

 

As they were leaving, Samol clapped a hand on Samothes’ shoulder. “I’d wish you luck, but it seems like y’all have enough of that on your side already.”

 

“We could always use a little more,” said Adaire.

 

Samol laughed.

  
  


Their travel back through the levels was faster now that Samothes was with them. No one asked them their lack, which was good because Lem honestly wasn't sure what that would be right now, for any of them. The sun was there in every level, shining just as bright and warm as it down at Samol’s house.

 

He did feel, occasionally, as though something was missing, as though he had misplaced something important. He’d touch the case of his violin, and while it was reassuring that it was still there, it did nothing to lessen the feeling. Sometimes he would fall behind the group, looking behind him and waiting for someone to catch up, before Hella looked over her shoulder and prompted him forward. He wasn’t waiting for anyone, of course, they were all there. Everyone who should have been there was there, in front of Lem.

 

When they reached the upper level, the sun felt even warmer, like every summer sun Lem ever remembered, the heat of it reflecting back on them from the stone of the tower. They all looked up at it for a moment, considering.

 

“So,” said Hella. ‘Where to?”

 

“I must go to Marielda,” said Samothes, “I have urgent business there, whether Hieron is safe or not.”

 

The corners of Adelaide’s mouth quirked upwards for a moment before settling back to her usual impassive expression.

 

“Of course,” said Hadrian.

 

“You should return to your family,” said Samothes, putting a hand on Hadrian’s shoulder, “I am sure they are missing you as you missing them.”

 

Hadrian nodded.

 

“I will help you travel to them before I leave you.” Samothes continued, “And we will see one another again.”

 

Hadrian swallowed. “We will?”

 

Samothes smiled. “Of course. I am sure my husband would love to meet the man who pulled me back into this plane.”

 

In the bright sunlight, it was easy to see Hadrian’s blush.

 

“What about--” Adaire started to say, and there was a jolt as the world around them shifted from the tower to a very different area of the forest, slightly cooler under the thick tree canopy but no less sunny.

 

“--the rest of us,” finished Adaire, “Typical.”

 

“Where are we?” said Lem.

 

“I’m not sure,” said Hadrian, walking purposefully towards a clearing, “But if My Lord Samothes brought us here, it must be where we are supposed to be.”

 

Adaire and Adelaide both rolled their eyes, although Adaire’s annoyed expression faded as Hella slipped her hand into Adaire’s, tugging her forwards to follow Hadrian. Lem trailed behind. Following Hadrian seemed like as good of an idea as any, since Lem certainly had no idea of where to go. Fero had always taken care of the directions when they’d travelled together in the forest, navigating between identical trees as surely as if they were road signs.

 

It didn’t take long for Lem to smell the woodsmoke, and soon after ramshackle huts and tents came into view. Some had sections built out of sturdier-looking stone - not as though the original structure had been destroyed but more as though they were in the process of being rebuilt into something more permanent.

 

Lem’s steps slowed to match the pace of the group as they looked around them. There were a few people, some moving with purpose and barely glancing at them, and other who poked lazily at campfires or paused in their work relaying stone to look curiously at them.

 

They headed towards what seemed to be the centre of town (if it even  _ was  _ a town). There was a well in the middle of cleared space like a rough sketch of a town square in Velas, the ground unpaved but showing the hard-packed dirt trails of people’s paths to and from the well.

 

There was two figures by the well, one gesturing and the other nodding in consideration. It took Lem a moment to recognise them, their clothes much more travel-worn than when he last saw either of them.

 

Hadrian’s recognition was a little faster. “Throndir?”

 

Throndir turned sharply, the guarded expression on his face quickly turning into a beaming grin. He gave a shout of joy, moving quickly towards them and pulling Hadrian into a tight hug. He hugged them each of them in turn, and Lem surprised himself by leaning into it.

 

Ephrim was a little more reserved, although his shoulders didn’t hold the tension they did the last time Lem had seen him. He fired off rapid-fire questions, where did they go, how did they do it, where have they been, have they  _ seen _ the  _ sun _ ?

 

“It’s good to see it again,” said Hadrian. “Our Lord Samothes has returned to us at last.”

 

“But he didn't do anything, and neither did we,” said Lem, “We just came out and it was like this.”

 

“Surely bringing Samothes back from the dead has something to do with it,” said Hadrian. 

 

Lem pressed his lips together. It  _ was  _ a possibility of course, sometimes patterns turned out to be simpler than you realised. But this one felt entirely too simple. Even simple patterns usually came with a cost, especially if their outcome was… well. Lem looked back up to the sun. It was a lot to get for nothing at all.

 

“Lem?!”

 

He looked back down, blinking the sunspots out of his eyes. It took a moment for his vision to clear, and even then, he felt like he might still be imagining things.

 

It was Emmanuel.

 

It was Emmanuel, standing in front of him, a basket of bread in the crook of his arm, only a few paces away from him. The sun shone down through the tree onto him, dotting him with sunlight. Lem’s chest felt tight.

 

“Emmanuel,” breathed Lem, too scared to speak too loudly, lest he frighten away his good fortune, his wonderful,  _ amazing _ fortune.

 

And then he was moving, closing the space between them, the basket wedged uncomfortably between them. Emmanuel’s free hand tangled itself in Lem’s shirt, pulling him close. Lem wasn’t sure where to let his hands rest - Emmanuel’s sides, his shoulder, brushing through his hair.

 

Emmanuel laughed. “You came back.”

 

“Of course I did,” said Lem. “Of  _ course _ I did.”

 

“And you really did save the world,” said Emmanuel, still smiling up at him.

 

“Oh, well,” said Lem, “I don’t know about that. Maybe we helped, but I don’t know that I--”

 

Emmanuel reached up, cupping Lem’s cheek and chasing away the words from his mind.

 

“Even if you are not a hero,” said Emmanuel, “I think you are at least a little heroic.”

 

It was nice to hear that, of course it was, wonderful really, especially from Emmanuel. It was easy to sink into that feeling, to slip his hand into Emmanuel's, and follow Emmanuel back to his small tent, and leave the outside world behind for a while. 

  
  


Even after he and Emmanuel finally emerged (to an enthusiastic thumbs up from Throndir and a smirk from Hella), Lem walked around feeling untouchable in his joy. The world was all warm sun and soft smiles from Emmanuel. Lem spent a week alternatively puttering around the herb garden Ephrim had set up during the day and falling into Emmanuel’s arms at night.

 

He saw bits and pieces of the others - Hella helping to patch roofs and Adaire helping to patch clothes under a nearby tree, talking to one another as they worked. Hadrian, guiding a group of children to their lessons, his son on his shoulders. Throndir and Red Jack, helping to cook an enormous evening meal for the camp. Devar writing under a tree in the afternoon light. Adelaide he only caught glimpses off, speaking quietly to Corsica as they walked together through the forest.

 

Unfortunately, all patterns must come to an end.

 

Lem volunteered to go with a group collecting wild berries, wandering a little further from the others than he meant to. The forest was quiet, only the small, far off birdsong to break up the quiet. He had a sudden, clear memory or standing in the forest, waiting for Fero to stop showing off and fly back down, and he turned to Fero to tell him, his smile fading as he remembered Fero wasn’t there.

 

He was still standing in the warm sunlight but Lem felt cold, his stomach dropping sharply. Not only was Fero not there, it suddenly occurs to him that the whole time he'd been at camp no one had mentioned Fero at all.

 

Fero  _ should  _ have been there. Lem had... left Fero with Ephrim and Devar and, presumably, Throndir. He should have been right with them, safe, like the rest of them. He should have been  _ right there _ , pestering Lem about berry-picking techniques, fluttering around Lem’s shoulders and getting under Lem’s feet.

 

He headed quickly back to the encampment, his mind running through the reasons he hadn't seen Fero - maybe Fero was avoiding him (although Fero was never one to leave a potential argument alone), maybe Fero was on a long foraging journey (although Throndir and Ephrim had gone through all their ongoing projects  _ extensively  _ and they hadn't mentioned him), maybe he just went home once the world was fixed (but surely there would have been some sign of him left behind at the University, Fero tended to leave an impression on people that lingered). 

 

“I dunno what to tell you,” said Throndir, “he never came here with us. We asked but... “

 

“But?”

 

“He wanted to go to the Erasure,” said Ephrim. “He wouldn't listen to any kind of reason--”

 

“He went to the  _ Erasure _ ?” said Hadrian, “ _ Fero _ ?”

 

“Yeah?” said Throndir, “I mean, he didn't exactly give us much chance to argue before he left.”

 

Hella caught Lem’s eye. “If he hasn't made contact with anyone since--”

 

“He's probably fine,” said Lem, “I mean, this is  _ Fero  _ we're talking about. He's always fine.”

 

Hadrian frowned. “The Erasure is… maybe a little more dangerous than you're giving it credit for.”

 

“Well, I,” Lem waved a hand, “it's probably like this everywhere now. So it's not as dangerous.”

 

“It wouldn’t be a bad idea to send a group to check it out,” said Throndir slowly. “See what it’s like out there now, see what we need to be prepared for. While we look for him, I mean.”

 

“Some of us should stay here,” said Hadrian.

 

“I’ll stay,” said Hella.

 

Adaire sighed, but nodded.

 

Throndir and Ephrim exchanged a look.

 

“I’ll stay,” said Ephrim, “unless you…”

 

“No,” said Throndir, “I’m okay to-- I can go.”

 

“I’ll go too,” said Lem.

 

The others stared at him.

 

“Okay,” said Hadrian, “I mean, I guess it can’t hurt.”

 

Lem made a face. “What’s  _ that _ supposed to mean?”

 

“Hella told me what you’re like as a travel companion,” said Hadrian.

 

“It was Fero’s fault!” said Lem, scowling for a moment before the spike of annoyance twists into something else in his chest.

 

“I guess I’ll see for myself,” said Hadrian, “when we find him.”

 

Lem swallowed. “Right. Yes. You will.”

 

Emmanuel had already heard, somehow, before Lem saw him that night for their evening meal. Lem could tell by the slope of his shoulders, and he held Emmanuel tight against him.

 

“You really  _ are _ going again?” said Emmanuel.

 

“I already said I would,” said Lem.

 

Emmanuel pulled back, his hands resting on Lem’s shoulders as he looked up at him. “I suppose I understand. Even when I first saw you in Nacre, I knew you were close.”

 

“Well I… We’ve travelled together a long time,” said Lem, “If I don’t at least  _ try _ to find him, he’ll be absolutely  _ un _ bearable about it when they find him, he’ll never let it go… what?”

 

Emmanuel blinked. “Nothing. You do think that he is still out there then?”

 

“Of course he is,” said Lem, his throat tight, “It’s  _ Fero _ .”

 

Emmanuel brushed the hair away from Lem’s eyes. “Of course. I would hope that if I were ever so lost, you would travel to find me too.”

 

“What-- of  _ course _ I would, Emmanuel,” said Lem, “ _ Of course _ I would.”

 

Emmanuel smiled, leaning up to press his lips to Lem’s. Lem sighed into it. They leave the evening meal to go cold in favour of a longer goodbye.

  
  


The journey was long, but an easy one. It was a little colder as they got closer to the Erasure, but the ground was covered with new spring growth, the snow still thawing in places under the newly warm sun. They spotted the towers a long time before they reached them, stretching over the treetops.

 

Despite the cold, it seemed more like spring the closer they get, flowers of all kinds blanketing the ground and glossy green ivy trailing over dead trees, bringing them back to a kind of life. 

 

Hadrian kept his hand on his sword hilt as they approach the base of the first tower. “Spread out. Be careful.”

 

Lem nodded. Hadrian seemed like he’s being overly careful, but he and Throndir were the ones who survived here before.

 

Still, there was something about this place that felt like home to Lem - not like the New Archives but  _ home _ , in a way that made him relax even as the others tensed behind him. He wandered around the base of the tower, not quite sure what he was looking  _ for _ . Flowers burst from from every opening in the towers that were still standing and clambered over the ones that lay in ruins, covering the cold grey stone in bursts of colour.

 

He caught movement in the corner of his eye, wheeling around, his hand going clumsily to the hilt of his sword.

 

Instead of a dangerous monster it was a tired-looking man in black-streaked robes, who took a stumbling step backwards, arms waving as he went off-balance.

 

“Oh, sorry,” said Lem.

 

The man huffed a laugh. “Not to worry. I haven’t seen anyone else in quite some time. I thought perhaps there  _ was _ no one left.”

 

“Quite the opposite actually,” said Lem, “It turns out the world’s not ending after all.”

 

The man blinked. “What?”

 

“Oh! Well!” said Lem, “It’s um, I suppose it’s a little complicated, but we, uh, that is--”

 

“ _ Alyosha _ ?”

 

Hadrian stood a little way away from them, his sword hanging loosely in his hand. Throndir stood behind him, an equally surprised expression on his face.

 

The man, Alyosha, smiled at him, tired but warm. “Hadrian, hello. I should have known that you would be my rescuer.”

 

Hadrian’s cheeks flushed, and he quickly stepped towards Alyosha to help him up. Once Alyosha was on his feet, he pulled Hadrian into a quick, tight hug.

 

“It is good to see you again, my friend,” said Alyosha.

 

Hadrian nodded. “I’m glad to - but how did you find yourself here?”

 

“I was in Samothes’s forge, and then... “ he put a hand to his head. “It is confusing to think of. Samothes was there, and then gone, and then I felt a tremendous pull to the work. I had no need for rest or for food-- and then just as suddenly, the urge was gone. I walked out of the forge to find myself here.” He laughed softly. “Wherever  _ here _ is.”

 

“You’re at the Mark of the Erasure,” said Throndir.

 

Alyosha raised his eyebrows. “The Erasure? Well! It certainly looks much more different than it has been described.”

 

“It looked a lot different when I was last here,” said Hadrian.

 

“I’m sure,” said Alyosha.

 

Now that they were standing next to one another, Lem can see the resemblance in their robes, although Alyosha’s was streaked with scorch marks and, curiously, threaded through with vines in some places, as though the vines themselves had woven his clothes together.

 

“You said you’d been here a while?” said Lem.

 

Alyosha frowned. “I… suppose I have.”

 

“Have you seen Fero? A halfling about this tall?” said Lem, holding his hand up to mid-thigh, “Yells a lot, turns into an animal sometimes?”

 

“I’m afraid I haven’t, sorry,” said Alyosha. “You three are the first people I’ve seen here.”

 

Hadrian and Throndir exchanged a look and Lem quickly looked away, frowning at the ground. There was still enough ground to cover and Lem was sure, he was so _sure,_ that Fero was there.

 

He was glaring at the patch of trees that have sprung up by the base of the tower when he spotted it - someone had cut footholds into one of the trees. He recognised those footholds. Those were Fero's. Fero used to cut them into the trees near his home, so he could climb up the tall, smooth trunks even as a halfling (which was definitely, as Lem said to him many times, just showing off really, and Fero would just  _ laugh  _ at that, his bright, loud laugh that would echo through the treetops and down to where Lem was standing on the ground). 

 

He must have made a noise of surprise because Throndir and Hadrian turn back to him, their bodies tensing again.

 

“It’s Fero,” said Lem, pointing to the tree, “he used to do that! He must be here!”

 

Hadrian and Throndir shared a look. Throndir bent, carefully examining the marks.

 

“They  _ are _ pretty fresh,” said Throndir, “someone did them in the last day or two.”

 

“ _ Fero _ did them,” said Lem.

 

Hadrian looked to Throndir, who shrugged.

 

“I mean, maybe?”

 

“Right,” said Hadrian. He let out a breath. “Right, let’s do a circle round together - Lem, you keep an eye out of more signs of Fero.”

 

Lem nodded.

 

There were black scorch marks on the fresh green grass, less like a battle and more like a trail from something, leading from tower ruins to the trees, looping lazily around the newly-growing bushes. 

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Lem saw Hadrian put a hand on his sword.

 

“What is it?” whispered Lem. 

 

“Movement,” said Hadrian, “someone's here.”

 

Now that he was looking for it, he can see it too - a flickering glow in the crumbling entrance of a tower. A torch maybe.

 

Hadrian stepped forward, sword drawn. “Show yourself.”

 

A creature dropped down from the ceiling and Lem stepped backwards in shock. At first he thought it was on fire it was glowing so brightly before he realised that it wasn’t just glowing with purple light, it was  _ made  _ of it, made of cold black and purple fire, flickering over a small form. 

 

Behind him, Throndir drew his bow, stepping beside Hadrian. The creature held up its hands. 

 

“Whoa, hey guys!”

 

It was Fero's voice. Lem's jaw dropped, and he stepped forward instinctively before his mind catches up. 

 

Throndir blinked, lowering his bow for a moment before he raised it again, gripping the bow tighter. “Lem, Hadrian told you about illusions remember? And the word eaters.”

 

“I'm not one of those! I don't even know what that is!” said the creature, and  _ gods,  _ it really did sound just like him. 

 

It took a step forward, leaving a black mark in the grass as it moved into the light. It was hard to see what shape, if any, the creature truly held under the fire. Throndir moved in front of him, in between Lem and the creature. 

 

“Stay back and I won't run you through right now,” said Hadrian. 

 

“Oh come on,” said the creature, “we're friends! Sort of!”

 

The creature looked up, and Lem met it's gaze and-- In the middle of purple and black fire was a pair of brown eyes he knew very well indeed. 

 

“Fero?” said Lem, his voice cracking a little. 

 

“Exactly! Yes! Hey, hi!” said Fero.

 

“Hi,” said Lem.

 

He opened his mouth to say something else - a thousand prepared speeches and I-told-you-sos and counter-arguments disappearing from his mind, and he closed his mouth again. His vision blurred. He didn’t wipe at his eyes.

 

“Fero,” he managed again. His throat felt too tight to get any more words out than that.

 

Instead, Lem stepped around Throndir, pulling against his grip as he grabs the back of his shirt. Fero stepped forward to meet him, wrapping his small arms around Lem's legs and resting his head against Lem’s stomach. Lem’s hands went to Fero, one to his shoulder and one to the back of his head. The flames that made up Fero's body didn’t burn him, instead Lem would swear he could feel Fero's soft hair under his hand. 

 

“I'm still really mad at you,” said Fero, his voice muffled from where his face was pressed against Lem’s stomach. 

 

“Okay,” said Lem. 

 

“And I still think you're a jerk,” continued Fero, “and I don't forgive you at all, like, not even a little.”

 

“Okay,” said Lem again.

 

Fero looked up at him, his chin sharp against Lem's stomach, same as it ever was.

 

“It's really good to see you,” said Lem, because it is. “I think I missed you.”

 

Fero made a face. “You  _ think  _ you missed me?”

 

“Yes,” said Lem. 

 

Fero huffed a laugh. “You are  _ such  _ a jerk.” He paused. “But I  _ guess  _ it's good to see you, too.”

 

He still hadn't let go of Lem's legs, so Lem figured he must mean it too. Fero was always good at knowing what he meant.

 

“I  _ knew _ you’d be here,” said Lem.

 

Fero’s eyes widened. “You were looking for me?”

 

“Of course I was!” said Lem, “You were  _ supposed  _ to be where I left you, and I couldn’t just let you-- Of course I was looking for you!”

 

He felt the motion of Fero swallowing against his thigh. “Oh.”

 

“Okay,” said Throndir. Lem flinched a little at the sudden noise. He’d forgotten the others were there. “Okay, so, you’re really Fero--”

 

“What, of course I am!” said Fero, letting go of Lem’s legs to turn and face Throndir.

 

He stayed close though, almost-leaning against Lem. Lem kept a hand on Fero’s shoulder, so he didn’t have to keep checking that Fero was there.

 

“Okay, but you’re kind of… you look a little different than when I last saw you is all.”

 

“Oh,” said Fero. He looked down at himself and then back up at Throndir, huffing a laugh. “Yeah, I guess so. Kind of a long story? Sort of. A weird story, anyway.”

 

“We’ve got time,” said Hadrian, still looking at Fero warily.

 

Fero wrinkled his nose. “I kind of-- okay, so I came all this way, on my own, which  _ totally _ sucked by the way, because it was like a snowstorm the  _ entire _ way here, but anyway, so I got here and like… it was right there. The heat and the dark. And everything it touched was just… gone.”

 

Lem could feel Fero tremble under his hand, and he squeezed Fero’s shoulder. Fero looked up at him, then took a deep breath.

 

“So. Yeah. Anyway. I was looking at it, and I was trying to think of things I could do, again,  _ on my own _ , because you guys were too wrapped up in your whole  _ revenge fantasy thing _ to come with me--”

 

“Fero,” said Throndir.

 

“What?” snapped Fero. “Anyway, so I was looking at it, and I was thinking about what I could transform into to fight it, and like, I had to make it count, right? Because there was like a fifty-fifty chance that me transforming would fuck up the natural order of things and like, erase that thing from existence or whatever--”

 

“Wait, what,” said Hadrian.

 

“Yeah, right? Like I said, a weird situation.” Fero waved a hand. “So I was trying to weigh up like, what would be worth losing to fight this thing and then I thought, you know, what if I turned  _ into  _ the heat and dark?”

 

Lem blinked. “You  _ what _ ?”

 

“I mean, either I could fight it on it’s own level  _ or  _ the whole ‘natural order of things’ thing happens and I guess we kind of came down on the right side of that fifty.”

 

Hadrian didn’t take a step backwards but it seemed as though he wanted to, leaning backwards, one hand on his sword hilt. “You’re… you turned into the heat and the dark?”

 

“Yeah,” said Fero, “I mean, I guess. I haven’t found a mirror yet to check, but the heat and the dark’s gone so...”

 

“Fero…” said Lem.

 

“Yeah?” said Fero, frowning up at him, “What?”

 

“That was a really stupid plan,” said Lem, “maybe the worst one you’ve  _ ever _ come up with, which is really saying something.”

 

“Hey!” said Fero, “It worked, didn’t it!”

 

“I suppose that’s true,” said Alyosha.

 

Hadrian and Throndir turned to look at him. Hadrian took his hand off his sword hilt.

 

“Well,” said Throndir, “I guess we… I mean, we should rest for an hour or so and then head back? It doesn’t seem like there’s anything here we need to protect ourselves from, and I... don’t really like being away from the village, even with things as they are.”

 

Hadrian nodded.

 

“Right,” said Lem, “come on then Fero, I’ll help you gather you things.”

 

Lem pulled Fero away, towards the crumbling entrance that Fero had come from. Fero poked him in the side.

 

“My stuff isn’t this way! And also! Who says I want to go with  _ you _ ?” said Fero, “Maybe I want to stay here. Maybe I like being by myself.”

 

Lem let his hand fall to his side. “Oh.”

 

“I was by myself for a long time before I met you and I was just! Fine!” said Fero, punctuating the last two words by poking Lem in the side again.

 

“I just thought--”

 

“What, that I would just forgive you and do what you wanted?” said Fero, “I already said I wasn’t done being mad at you yet.”

 

Lem sighed, leaning back against the cold wall of the tower. The vines covering it tickled his hands.

 

“I don’t know what I thought,” said Lem after a moment, “I just… I wanted to see you again. When Ephrim and Throndir said you’d come here on your own, it was like they thought you’d… and I knew that you had to be here, because you’re always… I can always trust that you’ll be fine, no matter what happens.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I suppose that’s not exactly fair of me.”

 

“No,” said Fero, “It’s not. It fucking sucks actually.” He paused. “I was basically dead and you just  _ left _ me there to go on with your pattern like I wasn’t even  _ there _ .”

 

“You were faking being dead!” said Lem.

 

“But I might not have been!” said Fero, “You didn’t know that!”

 

“Yes, well!” said Lem, “you’d always been fine before!”

 

“Because you were always backing me up before!” said Fero, “Or, you used to. You stopped doing it so much at some point.”

 

“I was trying to get you out!” said Lem, “I had to  _ flood _ a whole  _ dam _ ! I probably destroyed like a quarter of the Archives trying to finish the pattern to get you out, and then  _ you-- _ ”

 

“You were trying to get me out?” 

 

“Of course I was!” said Lem, still annoyed, “We’re friends, you asshole!”

 

Fero looked up at him for a moment, pressing his lips together before his expression crumbled and he started to laugh, leaning against the wall near Lem to support himself.

 

“It’s not funny, Fero!” said Lem, “People died! Probably!”

 

Fero laughed harder. “Oh gods,” he gasped, “you’re such an idiot.”

 

“I am not!” said Lem.

 

“You  _ so _ are,” said Fero, “why didn’t you  _ tell _ me?”

 

“Tell you what?”

 

“That you’d tried to get me out!” said Fero, waving an arm for emphasis, “I thought you abandoned me!”

 

“Oh!” said Lem, “Well you never asked!”

 

He tried for the same snippy tone as before, but all of the angry-tension had gone out of Fero’s shoulders, and it made it hard to keep going like that. It had always been like that, when they’d travelled together, sniping at each other until one of them laughed, and all annoyances would melt away.

 

“Does this mean you’ll come with me?” said Lem, “With  _ us _ , I mean.”

 

Fero huffed a laugh. “Sure, why not? Someone’s got to keep you out of trouble.”

 

“I can keep myself out of trouble,” said Lem.

 

“No you can’t,” said Fero.

 

“Yes I can,” said Lem.

 

They headed, bickering, into the bright sunlight, not one following the other but side by side, Fero’s shoulder bumping into Lem’s leg as they walked.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi: mariusperkins on most places


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